We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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