Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
