P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
