So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
