I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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