We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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