I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
