hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
