you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize