im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
