she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
