Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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