Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
