Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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