You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When are your genitals available?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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