remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
