please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
