So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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