32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
