Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
