i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
