Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
