i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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