Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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