If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
