I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
