Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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