did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
