my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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