that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
