Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Sext me about skeletons
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
