WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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