Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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