woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
