What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
