Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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