I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
