dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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