Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
