Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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