Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
