Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
