She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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