so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
