Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
