$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
