awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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