I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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