i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Terrible idea I love it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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