Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
