Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
