Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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