I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
