Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize