ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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