The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
