No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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