Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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