mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have demons in me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
