You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
